


Vending Machines

by Marikuro



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Crack, I'm not sorry, LMAO, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-10 01:55:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6933280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marikuro/pseuds/Marikuro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Izaya catches Shizuo being intimate with his lover. CRACK.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vending Machines

Shizuo could be considered to be, by most who knew of him, to be relatively "out there". Ya know, crazy. With his loud, foul mouth, exorbitant amount of strength and tendency to cause massive amounts of destruction everywhere he went, the term "crazy" definitely suited him.

But just how crazy was he, really?

Shizuo's long time rival Izaya had taking a liking to following him around the city over the years. Izaya had witnessed the man getting himself into some pretty dangerous and often hilarious situations a million times over. But what he saw on this fine day in particular most definitely took the cake.

Today, he had trailed Shizuo all the way back to his apartment. He had waited until the man made his way inside to silently creep up the stairwell and peer through the man's window. What he saw made his mouth hit the floor in disbelief.

Shizuo had gotten a vending machine installed in his apartment. Okay, so what, you ask? Sounds pretty normal, right? Wrong.

The kicker was that Izaya was currently witnessing a naked Shizuo furiously making out with the machine. And boy, was he sure going at it. The bartender was gently caressing the sides of the machine as if it were a woman. Before long, he was practically grinding against the damn thing as he slobbered all over it.

Simply amazing... Izaya thought as he quickly clamped his hand over his mouth to stifle his sudden eruption of laughter. If the machine were an animate being, he'd almost feel sorry for it.

Sure, there was a running gag about the bartender and his aggressiveness towards vending machines and other objects in the vicinity that were subject to his rage, but Izaya hadn't expected him to release... this type of aggression towards the device.

He looked on in awe as Shizuo started moaning and thrusting harder and harder against the machine. He had underestimated him. Somehow, Shizuo had turned out to be crazier than anyone had imagined.

Grinning, Izaya pulled out his smartphone and began to take picture after picture of the scene before him. This was going to make for some fantastic blackmail.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with me either. I hope you guys enjoyed this trash.


End file.
